It will probably be another sleepless night for me, and usually when this happens I tend to explore my thoughts, my emotions, and my ranting mind. Talking with a friend the other day, I made a decision to keep a blog in circulation all throughout this lifetime. My children, their children, will know the deepest emotions experienced within this mind of mine. I fear not of this world.
Happy times ARE the easiest to speak about. It takes immense courage to speak about the dark moments in life, and so I will write, and write, and write to build strength and wisdom. Grace and Mercy are forever in reach- Let there be light.
In thoughts from the visions of the night, when deep sleep falleth on men… -Job 4:13, Bible
Everlasting are the memories we experience for this life we create. Our existence depending on procreation, legacy, and history. The heart of the matter…illusion vs. reality.
I read today that focusing on the positives and relating to the good can really get you through heartache in life. I can agree with this statement. And if I really think hard about that theory, you can move forward on a constant positive note! Yet, why is it that I feel programmed, rather inspired by my hurt? Just as it was created that in all evil reveals good, and in all good reveals evil, every attraction must attract the opposite. Balance.
I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts. -Psalms 119:100, Bible
As I type, my fingers slowly graze the keyboard, the cold air is seeping in and I fight to write. In my solitude, in this moment I am reflecting. A flashback of feelings, a herd of emotions…”In this very moment I am Queen.” My bones ache as I revitalize.
In the depths of our souls, we scream to be understood. Our hearts break, and in this time we find ourselves bound to understanding. True hardships regarding matters of the heart are not limited, our hearts carry the capacity to heal. To learn and grow forms wisdom, we must at times cast feelings of hurt. In reflection, do not heed your heart to dwell. That baby…is dangerous.
Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful… -Proverbs 14:13, Bible
And so I yield way to a life of truth. I welcome honesty once again. With needle and thread, I sew patches to mend the countless holes on my heart. I wash away the hurt with my salty tears, and water the very seeds of hope, faith, and love. I embrace sorrow as much as I do joy. For this makes me real. My children, their children, and children of theirs…do not lose yourself to society’s ways. Humility is earned, wisdom is marvelous thus…be hungry and find your strength from within to face what you do not want to face.
